Two Sides of the Coin
by majiklmoon
Summary: Everything up to graduation is true, only Max doesn't survive. Liz decides to break free of the group and make her own way in the world.
1. Chapter 1

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

**Disclaimer:** Roswell belongs to first to Melinda Metz, then to Jason Katims and 20th Century Fox. She created them; they killed them. I'm just borrowing them.

She could feel him watching her. She didn't know who he was, or where he was, but he was watching her, day and night.

"I'm leaving Michael," she said. "It's time."

"Liz, Max would have wanted you to stay with us," Michael answered. 

"What Max would have wanted is immaterial, Michael. In case you've forgotten, he's dead."

Michael flinched at the harshness of her words. She was right. Max was dead, and it was his fault.

After they fled the gym on that fateful graduation night, the Special Unit had followed them as they made their way out of town. Someone, Michael could only assume they were a part of the Special Unit, forced his motorcycle off the road. He survived the crash, Max didn't. Isabel reacted in typical Isabel way, she yelled and screamed and cried. Liz – Liz got quiet. She withdrew into herself and didn't talk to anybody for a long time.

He didn't know which was harder, telling Liz and Isabel what had happened, or getting in that damned microvan and leaving, knowing they'd never see Max again.

"Michael, I have to do this," Liz sighed. "Max is dead, he's not coming back, and seeing all of you, day after day, just makes it harder to bear. I need to get on with my life – or start a new life. But I can't do that if I'm hanging on to the remnants of my old life." 

Nothing anybody could say could dissuade Liz from her decision to leave, and on a brisk fall morning, she climbed aboard a bus heading east. She changed busses, routes and direction several times, but she could never shake the feeling that someone was watching her. Her seatmate asleep, Liz reached into her backpack and extracted her journal. This wasn't her original journal; that had been sent back to her father, with the request that he burn it and spread it's ashes on the graves of Max and Alex. Before she sent it to her father, she made a copy. She couldn't stand to be without it for in it was her life with Max.

She flipped through journal, skimming pages. This time, she wasn't looking for memories of Max. This time, she was trying to find when it started, this feeling of being watched. She thought maybe if she could pinpoint when the feelings began, she might be able to find a clue as to what was going on.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat, her body stiff from sitting so long. She craned her neck, trying to see past the sleeping man next to her. She spied an empty pair of seats several rows back and she gathered up her belongings and carefully stood up. Liz climbed over the man, praying that the bus would remain steady. Once in the narrow aisle, she released the breath she hadn't been aware she was holding and walked toward the empty seats. Just before she sat down, she felt the familiar eerie feeling. She looked around, looking at the passengers nearby, but nobody looked familiar.

Warily, she took her seat and opened her journal again and began to read. The first time she'd felt like someone was watching her was when Future Max came. Back then, she'd attributed the feeling to him, he had, after all, been watching her. But after he left, the feeling persisted. She seldom gave it any real thought, but she did jot it down in her journal each time it occurred. There had been so much going on in her life during that time, all of it Max related. She spent so little time focusing on herself. Everything was always Max or alien centric.

After Max died, she became very introspective. Maybe withdrawn was a better word. She shut everybody else out, and focused entirely on herself. As a result she became more aware of her feelings, including the feeling that somebody was watching her. It was happening with alarming frequency, and that was the real reason she wanted to leave the group. If someone was following her, she didn't to put the others in any danger.

Liz continued reading the journal, noting all the different occasions where she felt as if someone was watching her. She reached into her bag and withdrew another notebook and a pencil and began to make notes. After a short time, a pattern emerged. The feelings were prevalent almost constantly, but they were strongest during the times when Max was _not_ around.

She checked and rechecked her notes, but there it was, in black and white. Each and every time Max was away from Roswell, the feelings were the strongest. She wondered if it was some kind of alien power that Max didn't realize he had. Tired, Liz closed her eyes and leaned her head against the window, trying to make sense of it all. Within minutes, her weary body drifted off to sleep.

_She was walking alone down a dark road. Moonlight filtered through the trees that lined the road, casting shadows on the road. A noise up ahead caught her attention and she looked up to see a familiar figure walking toward her. He stopped several feet away, so that his face was hidden in the shadows. ___

_"Max, is that you?" she called. He turned back to look, and her heart lurched in excitement. It was Max. ___

_"I'm not Max," the shadow voice whispered in her mind. "And he is not me. We are two sides to one coin. The same, yet different. I am him, and he is me, but we are not each other. If I look in a mirror, I will see Max, but I am not Max." ___

_"I don't understand," Liz said. "Are you the Max from the Future?" ___

_"No. No more questions, Liz. Just know that I am near, and I'm watching over you. I will protect you." ___

_"Wait, please, won't you tell me who you are, really?" ___

_The figure turned, and a shaft of moonlight hit his arm, and Liz's eyes focused on a familiar tattoo. A square with four circles, one at each corner, connected by intersecting lines. Liz reached out to touch it, but the image shifted, and she found herself in the cave back on the reservation. She saw the Antarian images on the wall, one of them the same foursquare pattern. Again she reached out to touch it, but the image melted, and she was standing in the back doorway of the CrashDown, looking at the figure of a girl trying to sleep on the ground. ___

_"Ava," she whispered. ___

_Her dream shifted again, and she was sitting at the counter of the CrashDown, and Ava was next to her crying. The image shifted again, and this time she was watching herself comforting Ava. "Zan," she heard Ava cry. "They killed Zan."_

Liz woke with a start, shaking with fear, struggling to remember what her dream had been about. She picked up her journal from the seat beside her to write down her dream when her eyes fell to an image that had not been there before - the foursquare pattern.


	2. Chapter 2

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Two_

Zan looked up at the headlights bearing down on him. He tried to react, tried to use his powers to stop it, but he couldn't. It was happening to fast. He couldn't react. Luckily for him, Ava could and did. She used her powers to stop the truck that Rath had sent on it's collision course with his body, and she mind warped Rath and Lonnie into thinking their plan had been a success. In their mind, he was nothing but road candy laid out on the streets of New York.

He took off right away. At first, he didn't know where he was going. He just knew he had to get out of New York, and get away from his so-called family. He'd miss Ava, but she was tough, she'd make it without him. They'd tried to hook up, but there just wasn't a real connection between them.

It was his third day on the road when he made the decision to head to Roswell. He wasn't sure why. He'd never believed the stories their stupid protector had told them about another set of pods. He'd figured it was just some stupid fairy story he'd made to keep them in line.

He didn't know why he felt this whacked sense of obligation to help someone that probably didn't even exist. But on the off chance it was true, he decided he owed it to the other him to warn him about Rath.

Getting out of New York was relatively easy. He had planned to steal a car and just drive all the way to podunksville, but something stopped him. He had never liked stealing they had done, but most of the time it had been a matter of survival. He wasn't like Rath and Lonnie who had really gotten their rocks off on stealing.

He decided, instead, to try and stay on the right side of the law as much as possible. So he stuck out his thumb, in the tried and tested method of travel for the young, and caught a ride with a trucker heading out of New York.

Once he was free of the city, he found rides were fewer and farther between. It took one of the truckers calling him a punk, freak weirdo to clue him in. It was his appearance that was causing him some of the problems. In a truck stop outside of Columbus, Zan cut his hair and removed his various piercings. He hit a thrift store and managed to score some clothes and a bag to carry his crap in. He was ready, next stop, Roswell New Mexico.

Zan climbed out of the truck, shut the door and banged on it as a sign of thanks. He'd hooked up with this particular trucker somewhere in Oklahoma, and he'd dropped him on the outskirts of Roswell. Not quite curbside service, but better than nothing. He hefted the bag over his shoulder and started to walk, his feet kicking up puffs of dust on the side of the road.

A car sped past him, then slammed on its brakes and waited until he caught up with it.

"Hey, Evans! You need a ride? What's the matter? Isabel get to the Jeep before you?" a voice from the car's interior called out to him. 

Zan quickly passed his hand across his face, and a scruffy blond beard appeared. Another touch of his hand, and his hair became shorter, and the color matched that of the beard. He quickened his pace and moved to stand beside the car.

"Hey," he said to the driver.

"Oh, uh, you're not Max," the driver said, his voice tinged with fear. 

"No, sorry, I'm not," said Zan with a smile. "Can you tell me how much further it is to town?"

"Yeah, about three miles," said the nervous kid in the car. "Look, I, uh, I thought you were a guy from school. I'm sorry, I'm not in to picking up hitch hikers."

"No problem," said Zan. "I don't blame you. Have a great day." 

Zan watched as the car pulled out into the road and then peeled out in its haste to get away.

"Jackass," he said, but he wasn't angry. In fact, he was happier than he had been in quite a long time. He had a name to look for now, and confirmation that someone named Max Evans was running around Roswell, New Mexico with his face. He hefted his bag over his shoulder and started walking.

It didn't take him long to find out who Max Evans was. Max Evans was him. Or he would have been Max Evans if he had been raised in a house, with parents who loved him, and friends. He also found the other Vilondra, going by the name of Isabel. And the other Rath was there, as was the other Ava.

But these Royals were nothing like him and Lonnie or the others. Even he could tell how much they cared about each other. And more amazing to him was the fact that they had trusted humans with their secret. He couldn't get over it. He watched them for several days, learning their secrets. He liked the chick that the other Rath had hooked up with. She was a real handful that was for sure. And the guy Lonnie had hooked up with. He wasn't anything like the guys his Lonnie had thought were hot. This guy, this Alex, he was, well, he was nice. There wasn't any other word for it.

The other him was the luckiest homey on the face of this planet and probably on the face of Antar, too. He had hooked up with the hottest babe he had ever seen. Zan shook himself. He could see that it wasn't just the hotness of Max's girl. She was something special, and he found himself watching her more than he watched the others.

Then it happened one night, he was watching Liz – that was her name – in her bedroom and he saw _another_ him. He couldn't believe it. He crept closer to her window to listen to what this third Zan had to say. And what he had to say was some kind of unbelievable that was for sure. That guy, the other him was from the future, and he was telling Liz that if she didn't break up with the Max from now, their lived, and their planet would be in jeopardy.

Zan was certain that Liz wouldn't do it. Even he could see that she was really jazzed for Max. But she did, she bought into it, and she did everything she could to drive Max away from her. That was when he fell in love with her, when he saw the sacrifice that she made to save him, to save _them_. They didn't know how lucky they were to have her on their side.

The night she did it, the night she finally drove Max away, Zan decided to reveal himself. He followed Max into a park. He was about to step out of the shadows when Ava – no, not Ava he corrected himself – Tess came and sat beside Max. Zan observed the two for quite a while. He decided he didn't like their Ava at all. She was so cold, so hard. She looked like she'd do anything she had to do to get what she wanted. She reminded him a lot of Rath and Lonnie. They didn't care what they did, as long as they got what they wanted in the end. 

He waited until they left, and he followed Max to his house and waited outside until the house went dark. Once he was certain everyone was asleep, he knocked softly on the window he had previously identified as Max's.

"Michael is that you?" a weary voice asked as the window opened. "Cause if it is, I'm sure as hell not in the - what the – who are you?" Max asked.

To say the conversation didn't go well was an understatement, but after a long night of talking, Zan was able to convince Max of the truth, and to convince him that Rath and Lonnie would probably show up, and if they stayed true to form, probably try and kill him.

Zan stuck around, but he didn't interact with any of them, ever again. He liked to tell himself he was just watching out over them, but the truth was, he was watching her. He was always watching her. He watched as she 'betrayed' Max in order to save them, and watched as Max betrayed her in the worst way possible. He watched them fall apart at the loss of a friend and grow back together again as their wounds healed.

And then he watched when the danger returned. This time not in the form of Rath and Lonnie. This time it was in the guise of government officials making the world a safer place. That was when it happened. He was there when they were graduating. He knew how much Liz valued education, and he wanted to be there to share some small part of her life. He watched as Max went up to the podium and saw the lights go out. He saw Liz and the others slip out one by one, and he was torn, should he follow his heart and go after Liz, or stay and make sure his other self was safe.

He decided to stay, he knew the others would protect Liz, and Max didn't have anyone on his side. Still, he respected what his other self did to save the others. _He and Liz deserved each other,_ he thought with a pang to his heart. _Always sacrificing themselves for the others._

A loud roar caught his attention, and he watched in amazement as Michael's motorcycle road up onto the stage. Max climbed on, and the two took off, riding out of the school. Zan managed to slip out in the chaos that followed and this time, had no compunction about stealing a car to follow them. He didn't see the accident, they had gotten too much of a jump on him for that, but he heard the screeching of the tires and the clash of the metal. He rounded a curve in the road in time to see the black SUV pull away from the accident scene, and watched as a grief stricken Michael pushed his motorcycle back up the incline and on to the road. He used his powers to start it and took off down the road.

Zan pulled the car over, and climbed out and ran down the embankment, calling for Max. He found him lying on the ground, covered in blood. He knelt down beside him, and used his powers to try and heal the many wounds that covered Max's body. One by one the wounds healed, but the internal damage was too great. Zan tried one last time to revive Max, and then collapsed beside him in a heap, tears streaming from his eyes.

Suddenly, the woods around him were filled with a glowing light. He looked up amazed to see Max standing there next to him.

"Are, are you?" he stammered.

"Yeah, I think I am," Max said, looking down at his body. "This happened once before when Liz's grandmother - Liz," the shadowy image of Max seemed to fade a little. "What's going to happen to her?" 

"She's strong," Zan said. "She'll make it."

"Watch over her for me," Max said. "You can do it."

"Man, I don't want any part of that," said Zan, knowing full well, he'd do whatever he had to do to protect Liz.

"We're two sides of the same coin," said the shadow Max. "We're the same, but different. I am you, and you are me. When you look in the mirror, you well see me, but you will not be me."

"What, what are you talking about?" Zan said, masking his fear with a show of false bravado. "I don't want any part of any of this shit." He held out his hand as if to forestall any more conversation, and the shadow image of Max reached out and grabbed it. The glow that surrounded Max enveloped Zan. It slowly faded and the shadow image appeared to disappear.

"Son of a bitch!" Zan shouted to the empty woods. "What did he do to me?"

He sat several rows behind her on the bus, changing his appearance every time they changed busses, and always he waited and watched. He wanted to tell her, let her know, but he couldn't. How could he tell her, he didn't believe it himself. The chance came on a half filled bus heading toward New England. He saw her take her journal out of her bag, studying it intently.

When she drifted off to sleep, he took the chance and grabbed her journal, rapidly skimming the pages. His eyes grew wide when he realized that all this time, she had been aware of him. He knew he couldn't come right out and tell her the truth, she was too fragile, and she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Without conscious thought, he scribbled a copy of the tattoo sported by Rath, Lonnie, Ava and himself in her journal and returned it to the empty seat beside her. Back in his own seat, he took out a picture he had stolen from Max when he first came to Roswell and tried to dream walk Liz. It wasn't his specialty, it was Lonnie's, but he had a rudimentary ability.

He met her walking down a dark road. He watched the moonlight shining through the branches cast moving shadows on her face.

_She was walking alone down a dark road. Moonlight filtered through the trees that lined the road, casting shadows on the road. A noise up ahead caught her attention and she looked up to see a familiar figure walking toward her. He stopped several feet away, so that his face was hidden in the shadows. ___

_"Max, is that you?" she called. He turned back to look, and her heart lurched in excitement. It was Max. ___

_"I'm not Max," the shadow voice whispered in her mind. "And he is not me. We are two sides to one coin. The same, yet different. I am him, and he is me, but we are not each other. If I look in a mirror, I will see Max, but I am not Max." ___

_"I don't understand," Liz said. "Are you the Max from the Future?" ___

_"No. No more questions, Liz. Just know that I am near, and I'm watching over you. I will protect you." ___

_"Wait, please, won't you tell me who you are, really?" ___

_The figure turned, and a shaft of moonlight hit his arm, and Liz's eyes focused on a familiar tattoo. A square with four circles, one at each corner, connected by intersecting lines. Liz reached out to touch it, but the image shifted, and she found herself in the cave back on the reservation. She saw the Antarian images on the wall, one of them the same foursquare pattern. Again she reached out to touch it, but the image melted, and she was standing in the back doorway of the CrashDown, looking at the figure of a girl trying to sleep on the ground. ___

_"Ava," she whispered. ___

_Her dream shifted again, and she was sitting at the counter of the CrashDown, and Ava was next to her crying. The image shifted again, and this time she was watching herself comforting Ava. "Zan," she heard Ava cry. "They killed Zan."_

She cried out when she woke up, and it killed him not to reach out to her, but he didn't, he couldn't, she wasn't ready. He watched a shaken Liz stand up and walk towards the bathroom at the back of the bus, her eyes searching each passenger as she passed. She paused slightly at his seat, but continued on passed him.

Zan held his breath as she walked past, afraid she knew and relaxed when she passed. He closed his eyes in relief, glad that he didn't have to tell her. He wasn't ready, she wasn't ready. It wasn't time yet.

"All right," Liz said, her voice hard. She pushed into the seat next to him and glared at him, her eyes as cold and hard as ice. "I want to know who you are, and why you're following me, and I want to know how in the hell you dream walked me."


	3. Chapter 3

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Three_

"I don't know what you're talking about," Zan bluffed.

"That's bull," said Liz. She reached out and grabbed the sleeve of his shirt and gave a vicious tug and it came off in her hand, revealing the foursquare tattoo on his arm. "I know what that it, and I know _you_ know what it is. Now, what I _want_ to know is who the hell are you, and how did you dream walk me? Only Isabel can do that, and you sure as hell aren't Isabel."

_Isabel, and Lonnie,_ Zan thought to himself. He tried bluffing again. 

"Lady, look, I don't know what you're talking about. I don't know anybody named Isabel, and as for the tattoo, I saw it in some guy's book down in New Orleans, and I liked it. I thought it looked cool. There's no crime in that, is there?"

Liz shifted position, and pressed her hand up against Zan's chest. "Look, I don't know who you are, but I know where you're from, and you obviously know who I am. So, I'm guessing you also know that I can kill you, and I will, unless you start answering some questions."

Zan tried to shift slightly, but Liz had him pressed against the back of his seat and the side of the bus. He knew he didn't have any options left but to come clean, or he was going to end up an incinerated pile of dust. He opened his mouth to tell Liz everything when he was hit by an epiphany.

"Okay, okay," he said, stalling to give himself some time to think. "Relax and stand down. I'll tell you everything. I'm one of the protectors sent down with the Royal Four."

"You're a liar," said Liz, pushing her hand harder against Zan's chest. "Nescado is dead, and Cal Langley is out in California."

"You think our people only sent down two protectors?" bluffed Zan. "To protect something as important as the pods? There were four of us. Two protectors for each set of pods, got it, princess?"

"Sure," scoffed Liz. "Convenient. And where's the fourth protector?" 

"Dead," said Zan. "He didn't survive the crash."

"And where have you been all these years. Why didn't you ever reveal yourself to Max and the others."

"They weren't my charges," hedged Zan. "I was responsible for the pods that we hid in New York."

"Right, and you did such a great job with them. They killed their Max, and tried to kill my Max and wanted to steal the Granolith!" Liz half whispered, half shouted.

"Shhh," Zan said. He looked around to make sure nobody had overheard her outburst before he continued talking. "My job was to watch over them, not interfere with their free will. I know what they did, and what they tried to do. I'm not condoning it, but there wasn't anything I could do about it."

_At least that much was the truth,_ Zan thought to himself. He didn't like what they did, and since it was him they tried to kill, there really wasn't much he _could_ do about it.

"That doesn't explain the whole dream walking thing. What gives you the right to invade my dreams?" Liz demanded.

Zan thought fast. He needed to come up with an answer that was close to the truth, but didn't give him away completely.

"Because I wanted you to know I was nearby, and that I was watching out for you, but I didn't want to freak you out completely," said Zan. 

"But why are you following me, why aren't you watching over Michael and Isabel? They need your protection more than I do," Liz asked. 

_Damn, she really is smart,_ Zan thought. "I, Liz, look, this is going to be hard, are you sure you want to hear it?"

"Tell me," she said through gritted teeth.

"I was there when Max died. Michael did everything he could, but he couldn't revive him. I have some healing powers, and I tried to heal him, but it wasn't enough. He was too far gone. He was conscious for a few minutes, and in that time, he told me to protect you, to watch over you."

"And you have to follow his orders, so here you are," said Liz, bitterly. "Well, I order you to go back and watch after Michael and Isabel. Keep them safe."

"Sorry, no can do," said Zan, grinning a little. She was so noble; of course her first thoughts would be to help the others. "Max said to watch over you, and that's what I'm going to do."

Liz glared at him, and he quickly lost his grin, but it didn't matter. Underneath that grin was a will of iron. She could sense that nothing she said would persuade him to leave her alone. Liz sighed, and stood up, and quickly sat down again.

"It was you, wasn't it?" she asked.

"It was me, what?" Zan asked.

"All those times I felt someone watching me, it was you."

"Yeah, it was. I watched all of you," Zan admitted.

"Then why didn't you save Alex?" she asked. "Why didn't you keep him alive. You could have done that."

"No, I couldn't, Liz. I really couldn't," Zan said, swallowing hard. "I can't read minds, and I didn't know what Tess was doing to him. I really didn't. If I had, I would have stopped it. I need you to believe that."

Liz did believe it, but it didn't help. Alex was still dead. Max was still dead, and she was still a part of the alien craziness that she was trying to get away from. She stood up again and started back to her seat, grabbing a nearby seat when the bus swerved unexpectedly. The bus swerved again, and Liz tried to sit down. There was a sharp bump, and a load metallic scraping as the bus collided with the guardrail. The bus listed to one side and then rolled down an embankment tossing the passenger's about as if they were rag dolls. 

"Liz!" Zan yelled, struggling to project voice over the crashing glass and screaming people.

Suddenly, everything was silent, and then pandemonium broke out. People were yelling and screaming, trying to find a way off of the bus.

"Fire!" someone shouted, and people began to scream louder. Zan pulled himself up into a sitting position and looked around. The bus was upright, but listing precariously. He swung around in his seat and tried kicking the window out. When that didn't work, he looked around quickly to make sure he was unobserved and used his powers to blast the window into oblivion.

"Hey!" he shouted to the people nearby. You can get out this way. Let's get a couple of uninjured people out there to help the injured people out."

"I'm okay!" a voice called, and a young man made his way to Zan. "If you can lower me out the window, I'll catch people. I tried the door, but it's blocked by a tree."

"Great," said Zan. "You sure you're okay?"

The man nodded, and Zan helped to lower him out of the bus.

"I'll start passing people out to you," he said. He turned to look and found that a small line of people had started to form.

"I'm not hurt too badly," a beefy college student said. "Help me get out, and I'll help catch people too."

"Me too," another voice called.

"I'm not injured, but I'll stay in here to help with the injured," a voice said. "I'm a nurse."

"Has anybody seen the woman I was traveling with?" Zan asked. "She has long dark hair, and she's wearing a denim jacket and she had a tapestry bag with her. Can anyone see her?" Zan hated the pleading tone that was in his voice, but he couldn't help himself. He couldn't lose her.

"Here she is!" a voice called, and Zan abandoned his post at the window and pushed past the people, trying to make his way to Liz. The nurse joined him and began to check Liz's vital signs. She lifted first one eyelid then the other, and shined a small light into each eye. 

"This isn't good," she said. "We need to get her out of here." 

"We will," said Zan. "But I'm taking her out myself. Go up there and let her know I'm coming."

He waited until the nurse had left them alone. He pressed his hand on her head and focused all his healing energy into her head. Images of Liz filled his mind, he saw her as a child. He saw her getting shot, and he saw Max heal her. Snippets of her life with Max filled his mind, filling his heart with a bittersweet agony. Her eyes fluttered open and he smiled.

"Liz, keep with me," he said. "Keep looking at me."

"Oww," she said. "I think my leg is broken."

"Keep looking at me," Zan whispered. He moved his hand down to her leg and healed it. As he did, more images filled his mind, and he saw Max and Liz together on her rooftop patio, Max down on one knee, proposing. He quickly severed the connection and hoped that Liz didn't see any images of his life. If she did, she'd know for certain he wasn't who he said he was.

"I'm good," she said. "What happened? I feel like a bus ran over me." 

"Close enough. Look, can you use your powers to get the door opened? Someone said there was a tree blocking it." Zan asked.

"I'll see what I can do," said Liz. "You'd better get back there. I'm sure there are people who are going to need your help."

"Be careful," Zan said. He turned and headed to the back of the bus. 

"You too, Zan," Liz said under her breath as she watched him walk away.


	4. Chapter 4

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Four_

They worked for hours along with the rescue crew getting people out of the bus. Liz did her best to distract people while Zan did what he could to heal them. Amazingly, there hadn't been any fatalities, with the exception of the bus driver. Zan tried to heal him, but the damage to his heart had been too great. When nobody was looking, Liz climbed back into the bus and located her bag, and her journal. She grabbed her belongings and climbed off the bus and walked over to a nearby police car.

"Can you show me where I should go to get a ride back into town?" she asked, politely.

"Were you on the bus, miss?" the officer asked her.

She stifled the impulse to give a Maria like wise answer and smiled instead.

"Yes, I was, and I'd like to get to a town and make arrangements to continue my journey," she explained.

"I'm sorry miss, everybody that was on the bus needs to be checked out before they can leave," the officer explained.

Liz suppressed a sigh and thanked him and pretended to walk toward one of the nearby ambulances. She looked back over her shoulder and waved to the police officer with whom she had spoken. One more look over her shoulder assured her that he wasn't looking, and she jogged down the embankment toward the woods.

"Hey, Liz, wait!" a voice called. Liz sighed and stopped. She didn't want to wait. She didn't want to have anything to do with this person. He was too much of a reminder of what she had lost. She didn't care why he was here or why he lied about his identity. She just didn't want anything to do with it.

"Where do you think you're going?" he asked grabbing her by the arm. 

"Away. From here. From you," Liz said through gritted teeth. "You're not my protector, now leave me alone."

"Not happenin babe," Zan said. "You know how it is with us protectors. I was given an order, I have to obey it."

"Obey this," Liz said. "Bite me!"

"I'd love to," Zan said, suggestively, forgetting for a minute who he was supposed to be.

Liz, tired of the games, jerked her arm free and began to walk away. Zan watched with admiration for a minute before grabbing his bag and jogging after her.

"I'm going with you," he said, when he caught up with her.

"You don't get it, do you?" said Liz. "Listen carefully, I'm speaking English here. I do not want _anything_ to do with you. Do you understand now?"

"And don't you get it?" asked Zan. "I _have_ to do this. I couldn't _not_ do it even if I wanted to."

Liz didn't bother to respond; instead she turned and started walking back toward the accident site. As soon as it was within site, she began to call out.

"Hey, I'm hurt, can I have some help here?" she shouted, affecting a fake limp.

The same police officer that Liz had spoken to earlier jogged over and assessed Liz, carefully.

"What happened," he asked. "I thought you said you were okay." 

"Actually, Liz said, "I was walking over to get checked out like you said when I got dizzy. I slipped down the embankment and sprained my ankle. So maybe I could catch a ride into town with one of the ambulances or something?"

"Liz, hey, Liz, wait up," a voice called. Liz turned and saw Zan and sighed. He just didn't know how to take a hint.

"Will you please just leave me alone," she hissed, after he caught up with her.

"Is this man bothering you, miss?" the police officer asked.

"No, he's not," Liz sighed. Despite all her aggravation with the whole alien population in general, she wasn't about to betray one of them in any way. "We just had an argument on the bus, that's all." 

"Lover's quarrel?" the cop asked in a knowing voice, giving Zan a wink. 

"Yeah, something like that," said Zan.

Liz shot Zan a heated look, but kept her silence and allowed him to follow her to the ambulance.

"Don't you get it," she hissed when they were out of earshot of the police. "I don't want you here. I've given up on the whole alien encounter thing. I don't want anything to do with it. It's over, get it?"

"Fine, whatever!" Zan shouted, finally exasperated with Liz's attitude. "You'se is nuthin to me, and I'm freakin sick of watchin over you. I wish I ain't never seen you before. I don't give a shit what happens to you, got it?"

Relieved, Liz started to walk away, glad that he finally got the message, but something against her will stopped her and made her look back. She saw him, standing and watching. Just watching. He didn't make any effort to follow her, but his eyes never left her.

Almost against her will, she found herself walking back toward him. It was as if some invisible force was pulling her to him. She wanted to leave, but she couldn't. Reluctantly, she walked back to him. The sound of the gravel underneath her feet filled her ears as she drew closer to him.

"Why are you doing this?" she whispered.

"I'm not doing anything," he replied.

"You need to let me go. I don't want to be here, don't you understand that?"

"Liz, it's not me that's holding you here, it's you," Zan said. 

"It's not me, it's not," she practically sobbed. "I just want out of this whole existence. I just want to be normal!"

"What's so great about normal?" Zan asked, reaching out awkwardly to touch her shoulder.

"What? What did you say?" Liz asked.

"What's so great about normal? Do you really want to be like all the rest of them? Running around in their meaningless little lives, is that what you want?"

"What I want to know is who are you, really?" Liz demanded. That was a phrase Max had used. It wasn't a Zan phrase at all. There was something strange going on, and she was determined to find out what it was.

"I told you, I'm like one of the protectors," Zan said. It wasn't really a lie. Max had asked him to watch over Liz and protect her. He wasn't sure what he had said that had caused such a rapid change in Liz. Granted, his the way he talked had changed since he left New York and started following Max. He only reverted back to his old way of talking when he was upset, like he did after Liz went off on him. But it wasn't that slip that had intrigued her. It was something else. Something he said after. He just wished he could figure out what it was.


	5. Chapter 5

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Five_

Liz leaned her head against the window of the replacement bus and watched the road signs slip by into the night. Thoughts whirled around in her head like a merry-go-round as she tried to make sense of what she had learned.

She knew the man beside her was Zan, even though he wouldn't admit it. But she couldn't figure out why he was here. Then there was the whole 'what's so great about normal,' thing, hearing it almost brought tears to her eyes. For a second, it was like Max was standing there beside her again. She couldn't quell the heady sense of excitement that shot through her when she thought, for just an instant, that Max might be alive. Logically and realistically, she knew it wasn't true. And she knew that with all their alien abilities, resurrection wasn't something they had mastered, but her heart still skipped a beat at the thought of Max being alive.

"Stop it," she said out loud. That kind of thinking was getting her know where. Max was dead. He wasn't coming back. Nothing was going to change that – ever. And nothing included the Max wanna be sitting in the seat next to her. She shifted slightly, trying to put a little space between herself and Zan, but it didn't work. His body seemed to shift to take up every available inch of space.

Liz sighed and gave up, succumbing to the pull of sleep. It had been a long day to say the least, and she was struggling to keep her eyes open as it was. The endless drone of the bus wheels fed her already somnolent mood. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the window of the bus and allowed the lethargy to wash over her, and drifted off to sleep.

_The damp street looked familiar, but Liz couldn't place it. She looked around and tried to get her bearings, but the images kept shifting. One minute, she was sitting in the CrashDown, and the next, she was back on this same street. ___

_She took a tentative step, and the images stopped shifting and she stood on the city street looking around. A flash of movement caught her eye, and she looked up and saw Max walking. She started to step forward towards Max, when she saw herself across the street, calling out to Max, waving her hands and pointing upward. Liz screamed out, pointing to the shadowy figures behind Max, but he couldn't hear her. She watched, helpless as Max towards the other image of herself and a scaffolding came crashing down to the ground from a nearby building. Her horror intensified as she saw Lonnie and Rath run down the street with Tess trailing after them. Something she hadn't seen from her vantage point across the street when the scaffold really fell. ___

_The scene shifted again and this time, she was on a crowded city street. Traffic whizzed by and the people on the crowded sidewalk walked through her, not around her. ___

_"I know this," she said out loud, but her words were heard by no one but herself. "How do I know this?" ___

_She saw Lonnie, Rath, Ava and Zan walking down the street. Not the Zan that she knew, he looked more like Lonnie and Rath. They walked along like they didn't have a care in the world, but Liz could feel a sense of urgency surround them. ___

_Suddenly, Lonnie pulled Ava back and covered her mouth, and Rath reached out and shoved Zan into the path of an oncoming truck. Liz watched as Rath stuck his arm out and caused the truck to accelerate, bearing down on Zan. Liz screamed a soundless scream and watched as the truck ran him over. ___

_There was a shift, and Liz saw the same scene; Lonnie grabbing Ava and covering her mouth, and Rath pushing Zan down to the ground. Again and again the scene replayed. Liz struggled to prevent it from happening, but she couldn't move. It was like she was frozen in place. ___

_The scene shifted again, and Liz tried screaming out to Zan. She watched, and realized something was different. She looked closely at Ava. She was staring at Zan, but not with the look of horror Liz had first imagined. She looked almost peaceful. Her nose wrinkled a little, and she watched Zan's body go flying away from the path of the truck. He stood up and waved at Ava and ran off._

Liz woke with a start and tried to move but found herself pinned against Zan's chest, his arm wrapped firmly around her.

"Hey, Z," she stopped, unsure of what to call him. She couldn't call him Zan; she wasn't supposed to know who he was. "Hey, come on, wake up," she whispered, trying to wake him. "Come on, I need some room."

"What, what is it, what's the matter?" Zan asked, groggily. "Are we there yet?"

He shifted slightly and looked at Liz. She looked into his eyes, and she swore for a moment, only a moment, she saw Max. Almost unwillingly, her hand moved, and she reached up slowly and stroked his cheek softly.

"No, I'm sorry I woke you," she said. "I, I had a bad dream, that was all.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Zan asked. He shifted slightly giving Liz room to move away from him, but she didn't. She remained wrapped in the familiar yet unfamiliar arms.

"I'm not sure," Liz hedged. She knew if she revealed the dream to Zan, he'd know she knew who he was. "You know, I don't even know what to call you," she said, hoping to distract him from the subject of her dream.

"What's wrong with hey you?" Zan joked.

"Seriously," said Liz. "What should I call you?" She didn't ask him for his name because she didn't want him to lie to her.

"Later," Zan said. "Tell me about your dream.

Liz sat silent for several minutes, trying to decide what to do. Her head said to play it cool, if only to see how far Zan would take this charade, but her heart urged her to lay it all on the table.

"Well, it was kind of weird," Liz said, slowly, unsure of how much to reveal. "I was in a city. I think it was New York." She looked up trying to gauge his reaction before continuing. "And I saw someone almost get killed, and then I did see someone get killed. He was run over by a truck. Or at least I think he was, but then it all changed. I guess I'm not sure what I dreamt about."

"Let's lay our cards on the table," Zan said, his voice harsh. "You know exactly what you saw and what it meant. And you know exactly who I am, so why all the games?"


	6. Chapter 6

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Six_

"Excuse me?" Liz said. "I don't have any cards to lay on the table. You seem to know all about me, and my life. _You're _the mystery. You won't even tell me your name."

"Come off it, Liz," Zan said. "You know exactly who I am. You just won't say it."

"Excuse me," the bus driver said, approaching them hesitantly. "This is the last stop."

"We're talkin' here!" Zan shouted, his New York accent growing more pronounced as his anger grew.

"We're sorry," Liz said, standing up quickly. "We're leaving, and please, excuse my friend here. He just woke up and he's cranky when he hasn't had his coffee."

Liz hurriedly gathered her belongings, climbed over Zan and exited the bus. She didn't wait for the depot staff to offload the luggage. She just reached into the luggage compartment and grabbed her bag. She looked around trying to locate Zan, and allowed herself a smile of relief when she couldn't spy him.

She slipped easily into the crowds milling about and quickly made her way out of the busy terminal. Once on the sidewalk, she shivered, her body unaccustomed to the cold northern air.

"Here, why don't you take this," a voice behind her said.

Liz turned her head in dismay, unsurprised to see Zan standing behind her, shrugging off his leather jacket.

"God, will you just go away?" She said in resignation.

"Nope," Zan responded, grinning.

His grin wrenched Liz's heart, dredging up reminders of Max's smiling face, but she forced herself to ignore the emotions and glared at him.

"You know, there's a law against what you're doing. It's called stalking."

"Yeah, whatever," Zan said, bouncing lightly on the balls of his feet. "Where are we going from here?"

_I'm_ going to get something to eat," Liz said, placing heavy emphasis on the word I'm. "I really don't care what you do as long as you leave me alone."

"No can do, babe," Zan said. "So, how do you feel about Mexican? Some guy inside said there's a place just down the street called La Carreta, and it isn't half bad. I'd say let's get pizza, but unless you're in New York, there ain't no point in getting' a pie."

"Get whatever you want," Liz said. "Just get it from a place I'm not." She grabbed her bags and stormed off in the direction of a nearby coffee shop.

Liz opened the door and the steamy warmth of the shop beckoned t her. She willingly crossed the threshold and sat down in the first empty seat she encountered. She looked around, enjoying the homey atmosphere of the cozy eatery, grabbed a menu and quickly made a decision.

"Can I help you?" a waitress asked. She stood beside the table, order pad in hand; ready to take Liz's food order. Liz smiled when she saw her, for she reminded her very much of Agnes who worked at her parent's café back in Roswell. Well, she _looked_ like Agnes. If she was willingly standing here, taking Liz's order, she was nothing like Agnes at all.

"Um, can I have a bowl of chicken noodle soup, and a chicken sandwich on white, toasted, light on the mayo. Oh and a cup of coffee, please. It's freezing out there."

"Sure thing," the waitress said, scribbling the order on her pad. "Anything else?"

"Oh, yeah, actually, you don't happen to sell newspapers here, do you?" Liz asked, hopefully.

"Sell, no," the waitress said. "But I'm sure we have one laying around that you can look at."

"Thanks!" Liz called to the retreating figure. Liz resumed her cursory observations of the small restaurant, and within a matter of minutes, the waitress returned and placed a steaming cup of coffee and a newspaper on the table in front of Liz.

"Here you go. It's a bottomless cup here, so just signal if you want a refill. Food will be out in a minute."

"Thanks again," Liz said, vowing to leave the waitress a whopping tip for her great service. She added sugar and milk from the creamer on the table, to her cup with a lavish hand, and took a large sip, enjoying the feeling of warmth coursing through her body. She sighed contentedly, and opened the paper and began to scan the help wanted section. She pulled out her journal and jotted down several possibilities before turning her attention to the apartment rentals. 

The waitress returned placing a streaming bowl of soup in front of Liz, along with her sandwich on a platter arranged around a heaping mound of French fries.

"Oh, I didn't order any fries," Liz said.

"Comes with the sandwich," the waitress said, brusquely. "Enjoy." 

Liz picked p the spoon after the waitress left, and dipped it into the soup. The first mouthful was rich and flavorful. Wide noodles, which could only be homemade, competed for space with large chunks of chicken meat and orange carrots. She savored each spoonful of the homemade soup before turning her attention to the sandwich.

Slices of real chicken, not the processed meat from a deli, lay nestled between crisp pieces of lettuce and red juicy slices of tomato. Liz sighed in ecstasy as she bit into the sandwich. It had to be the best sandwich she had ever eaten in her life. It filled a hunger she had only half realized she had. Not a hunger for food, but a hunger for normalcy. The kind of normalcy you could only get by eating something as mundane as a chicken sandwich and a bowl of soup.

"Got enough for two?" a voice asked.

Liz ground her teeth in frustration, and tried to contain the surge of anger that rushed through her body. She ignored Zan and focused instead on the now empty soup bowl. It vibrated on the table before it shattered into pieces.

"Damn it!" Liz cried in frustration. "Look what you made me do." 

"Whoa, look, the girl's got some serious power goin' on," said Zan. "And it goes boom when she gets pissed. How Rath-like of you."

Liz help up her hand and yelled for Zan to stop. She watched in horror as Zan went flying cross the coffee shop, coming to rest at the base of the counter.

"Stop, just stop!" Liz said. "I'm not like Rath! Just leave me alone, Max! It's you, you're doing this to me!" she shouted.


	7. Chapter 7

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Seven_

Liz hurriedly through some cash on the table, grabbed her belongings, and ran. She couldn't believe that had just happened. Her powers hadn't reared up like that since Tess showed up back in Roswell. But even then, she had been in control of them. She'd wanted to hurt Tess, and she had. This time, she'd had no control at all. This time it had been like when she first started developing her powers. Every time she was around Max, they flared up.

_Max,_ Liz thought to herself. _I called Zan by Max's name._ She felt badly about that. She knew logically that Zan wasn't Max. It was just the flare up of her powers that brought back all those memories of her power flare-ups around Max. Calling him Max was just a slip up, an honest mistake.

She turned and looked back toward the coffee shop and saw Zan through the plate glass window. Even from this distance, she could see the slump of his shoulders, and she could practically feel his hurt from where she stood. With a sigh, she turned and headed back toward the coffee shop.

Liz stood outside the door, trying to catch Zan's eye. She didn't want to go back inside and draw attention to herself, especially after that flamboyant demonstration of her powers. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting in the cold air, Zan finally left the restaurant, and breezed past her like she wasn't there.

"Wait!" Liz called, running to catch up with him. "Come on, wait a second. I just wanted to say 'I'm sorry,'" she yelled.

Her words had the desired effect, and Zan pulled up short, causing her to careen into his back.

"What?" he said to her, his voice as cold as the air around them.

"Look, I'm sorry, I know you're not Max. I didn't mean to call you that, it just slipped out. It's just that, well, you made me so mad," Liz explained. "And my powers, well, let's just say that the only time the went all wonky like that was when Max was around. I just reacted. I didn't think, but really, I know you're not him. I do."

"Great, you said your piece, now leave me alone," Zan said, still hurt. 

"What?" Liz asked in apparent shock. "You follow me halfway across the country, dogging my every move. You refuse to leave me alone, no matter how many times that I ask you too, and now, when your precious feelings get just the littlest bit hurt, you tell _me_ to leave _you_ alone? Well, fine, I will, and I'd better not see you around me, ever again – Zan," Liz shouted, throwing the name in as a final parting shot.

Her eyes filled with tears, Liz stepped blindly off of the sidewalk, unaware that the traffic light had just turned red. A horn blared, alerting her to danger, but she froze like a deer in the headlights, unable to move. In that passing moment, time seemed to slow to a snail's pace.

_This is it,_ she thought to herself. _This is how it's going to end. Not a bullet, not the Special Unit, just an ordinary traffic accident. Maybe it will be worth it. I'll get to be with Max again._

A hand grabbed her from out of nowhere, yanking her forcefully back to the curb. She let out a most un-Liz like expletive as she fell backwards onto the sidewalk.

"Th-thank you," she said. She turned to face her rescuer, and the rest of her thanks stuck in her throat when she looked up into the cold brown eyes of Zan. She'd never one thought of brown eyes as being cold or hard, but there wasn't any way to describe Zan's eyes right now. At least not when he was looking at her.

"Sorry to bother you," she muttered. "You should have just let me get hit."

"I couldn't," Zan said, his voice ripe with disgust. "I made a promise to protect you."

"Look, we've already decided I know who you are, and you know who I am, so you can stop pretending to be one of their protectors. I know you're not."

"You're right, I'm not," Zan said, agreeing with her. "I'm not one of their protectors. I'm your protector."

"What? That doesn't make any sense," Liz said.

"This is obviously going to take a lot of explaining," said Zan. "And I'd rather not do it here, standin in the middle of a cold sidewalk. Could we please go some place warm and get something to eat. I'm starvin'."

Liz agreed, and Zan shouldered her bag before taking her by the elbow and escorting her down the crowded sidewalk. To Liz, tired from her sleepless night on the bus, and sore from both the bus accident as well as her own near encounter, the walk seemed interminable. She sighed with relief when Zan led her into a well-known chain restaurant.

"Here?" she asked. "Wouldn't some place quieter be better?"

"We're less likely to be overheard in a place like this," Zan said.

Liz looked around at the crowded eatery and realized Zan was right. The din was so loud; it was impossible to pick out any individual conversation. She smiled, amazed at his forethought. She didn't know why, maybe it was the image she had in her mind of Rath and Lonnie, but she didn't credit them with much in the way of higher level thinking skills. Zan was proving to be the exception to the duplicate rule.

"We can seat you now," the hostess said, and Liz followed her through the crowded restaurant to a small booth, while Zan brought up the rear, still carrying her bag. Liz waited until they gave their beverage orders to the waitress, and she was out of earshot before saying, "Okay, spill."

"You're not much into beating around the bush, are you?" said Zan.

"No, I don't have the time or the inclination to play games," said Liz. "But you seem to be all about games. Well the ball's in your court, either tell me what you have say, or I'm leaving."

"I said I'd tell you," said Zan. "Jesus, you have gotten really cold, Liz."

"You don't know me," said Liz. "You don't know who I am, or what I'm like, so where do you get off saying I'm cold? I don't need this crap you know."

"Liz, I've been watching you since around the time Isabel killed that skin."

"You – you have?" Liz asked. She was surprised, but not surprised. It was almost as if on some level she knew that it was true. She paused and smiled when the waitress placed a steaming cup of coffee on the table in front of her and waited for Zan to resume his story.

"I saw everything, Liz," he said, after he took a sip of coffee. "Everything."

"Define everything," Liz said softly.

"I saw your visitor from the future, I was there when Max healed all those kids in the cancer ward, I know what Tess did, and I was there when Max died," Zan said in a rush.


	8. Chapter 8

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Eight_

"What did you say?" Liz asked. She put the coffee cup she had been holding down on the table carefully and focused her full attention on Zan.

"I said that I saw _everything._ "There wasn't anything that happened in your life that I didn't see. Except for when you went to Vermont," Zan added as an afterthought. "I stayed in Roswell after you left."

"Why?" 

"Why did I stay when you left?" asked Zan.

"No, why were you there at all. Why did you do that, and why didn't you let us know you were there?"

"You saw what happened to me, Liz. You know what they tried to do to me. I had to get out of there. And Max knew. He knew I was there."

"He what?" Liz asked. Her hand trembled as she placed the cup she had been holding back on the table. Coffee sloshed over the rim, forming a sticky brown puddle on the table, but Liz ignored it and focused intently on Zan.

"It's simple, Liz," Zan said, caustically. His pride still stung from both Liz's display of powers at his expense, and the fact that she called him Max. As immature as he realized that it was, he wanted to hurt her the way she had hurt him. "Are you ready to hear what I have to say, or are you going to keep running away?"

"I'm not running away!" Liz said, hotly.

"Babe, you've been running one way or another ever since Max healed you. Now are you ready for the story."

Liz nodded slightly and tried to control the tremor in her hands as she lifted the cooling coffee to her lips. Zan was right, she had been running, but it hurt to hear it coming from him.

"Any how, after Lonnie and Rath did their thing, I took a powder and headed off to Roswell. I found Max almost right away, but I wasn't sure I wanted to hook up with him. Not after what I saw, anyhow." 

"Why, what was he doing?" Liz asked puzzled. She couldn't think of anything Max had ever done that would have made Zan want to avoid him.

"He was singing with a mariachi band underneath your window, that's what he was doing," Zan said, his disgust with the entire event still apparent. "How freaking queer can you get?"

"It wasn't," Liz said. "It was sweet and romantic and…Wait! That was the night the other Max appeared. Was that you? Are you the reason Max and I lost almost a year together? I swear, I'll kill you if I find out it was because of you."

Zan laughed, partly because angry Liz reminded him of a kitten who was cranky that she couldn't reach a particular toy, and partly to hide his desire to have her react as strongly to him, as she did Max's memory.

"Relax, babe. That train wreck wasn't my fault at all. You really did have a visit from good old noble Max of the future. Well we're pretty sure he was from the future. At that point, neither one of us were to sure about anything, including each other."

"I'm confused," Liz said. "Are you telling me Max _knew_ about all of this?"

"Not at first," Zan said. "Look, I'm doing a lousy job at explaining all of this, I'm sorry. The first time I found Max was the night he was singing to you. You sent him away, but I decided to stick around. I had to see what kind of chick would make me, I mean him, act like such an ass. Anyhow, I climbed up the fire escape and that's when I saw _him._ To say I was freaked was an understatement, and I decided to lay low for a while."

Zan paused in his tale long enough to give the waitress his order. He looked to Liz to see if she wanted anything, and she shook her head negatively, and waited for Zan to resume his story.

Anyway, you and Valenti came up with your plan to drive Max away. Personally, I thought you were stupid for not going to Max and telling him, but hey, who am I to throw stones, right?"

"I couldn't tell him," Liz said. "The other Max said it would mess everything up if I did, and that if the two of them came into contact with each other, they'd die."

"Yeah, well, who knows if that was true," said Zan. "So you and Valenti did you're between the sheets thing, and the bottom fell out of Max's world. I followed Max to some hokey little park. I wanted to tell him I was here, and let him know what had just happened. When I found him, he was sitting on a bench, and Tess showed up. Pretty damn convenient if you ask me," Zan added. "That's when she started working her mojo on him in a big way."

"What do you mean?" Liz asked.

"She started mind warping the hell out of him, bit by bit," said Zan. "Making him think that she was all sympathetic and totally on his side. And I'm sorry to say, old Maxie boy started falling for it. Max finally went home and that's when I knocked on his window. The rest, as they say, is history."

"I don't think so," said Liz. "Because my version of history is considerably different than your version of history. Please, enlighten me."

"It's not all pretty," said Zan. "Why do you want to relive it all again?"

"Because apparently everything I knew was a big fat lie, that's why!" Liz shouted. The booths surrounding theirs quieted as everyone stared in their direction. Liz, instead of backing down, turned and glared at each and every patron that was staring at them, until one by one, they returned to their meals and the conversations around them picked up again.

"At least you didn't send me flying across the floor this time," said Zan.

"Shut up, and keep talking," Liz said. "Are you telling me that Max knew all along that I never slept with Kyle?"

Zan nodded imperceptibly, and Liz felt her heart thudding rapidly in her chest. All that time, wasted, for no reason at all.

"Liz, you made an incredible sacrifice for Max," Zan said. He reached across the table and took her hand in his. Max knew that, he really did, and he didn't want to belittle it by coming to you and saying 'hey, guess what, you didn't have to rip my heart out like that.' He wanted to find out as much information as he could about what was going on. Does that make any sense to you?"

"But what about after he figured it out? What about Alex, and Tess? Why did Alex have to die, and _why_ did he sleep with her," Liz cried. The anguish in her voice didn't even come close to comparing to the pain she felt in her heart at losing her best friend and Max's betrayal.

"Look babe, I told you this wasn't going to be easy," said Zan. "You want I should stop?"

"No," Liz said, her face a mask of resolution. "I need to hear it all." 

"Neither one of us knew what Tess was doing to Alex, we really didn't. If you don't believe anything else, please believe that," Zan practically pleaded. "Losing Alex practically killed Max. He felt like such a failure because he couldn't protect him."

Something in Zan's voice made Liz look at him carefully, and in his eyes, she saw pain. It was almost like Zan himself was hurting over Alex's death. But that didn't make any sense. Zan didn't know Alex. He wouldn't be broken up over his death.

"I know Max was upset about Alex," Liz said. "He was upset enough to sleep with Tess, remember?"

"Max didn't sleep with Tess, Liz," Zan said, softly.

"Yeah, he did," Liz insisted. "There was a baby and everything, remember? Or oh, weren't you around for any of that."

"I was there, and I'm telling you, he did _not_ sleep with Tess. She wasn't pregnant, and she never had a baby."


	9. Chapter 9

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Nine_

"Zan, there was a baby. I held him. I helped take care of him," Liz insisted.

"And I'm telling you, Tess did _NOT_ have a baby," said Zan. "Liz, I followed them to that observatory that night. Liz, Max didn't go in there, I did. Max spent that night out at the quarry, mourning Alex's death. I was the one who was with her that night. She tried to seduce me, thinking I was Max, but it didn't work. So she tried mind warping me into thinking we had sex but I knew we didn't, so it didn't work."

"Well then, why was Max so certain there _was_ a baby. He tried for almost a year to find a way to Antar to get the baby away from Tess," Liz asked.

"I don't know, Liz. I really don't," Zan answered. "I can only guess that she mind warped him into believing it was true."

"But you could have told him," Liz cried. "You knew and you could have told him. You could have stopped him from his stupid quest to get back to Antar. God, the things I did to help him, and it was for nothing."

"Wait a second, sister. You got some freaking nerve, pushing this all back on me. Max is responsible for his actions, and you're responsible for yours. Nobody made you do _anything,_ least of all me." 

"But you knew they didn't have sex, and you knew Tess told him she was pregnant.."

"Stop right there," Zan demanded. "I didn't know anything about that. Max didn't tell me everything, you know. I just thought he sent Tess back after you figured out she killed Alex."

"But didn't you two talk and stuff?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, we talked but it's not like we sat up late at night braiding each other's hair and sharing secrets," Zan said. "After a while, I split and did my own thing for a while. Max and I kept in touch, but that was about it."

"Oh," Liz said, dully. She wasn't sure what to think anymore. It felt like everything she believed in, everything that she knew was a fact was now nothing more than a fairy tale.

"Where – where'd you go?" Liz asked. "When you left Roswell I mean" 

"Actually, I took off for California," said Zan. "Thought I'd take a look around for our 'protector,' and let him know what a crap ass job he'd done."

"Did you find him?" Liz asked.

"No, I gave up and headed back to Roswell, only to find out that Max had left you alone and unprotected."

_Damn,_ he thought to himself. _Nothing like opening mouth and inserting foot. She doesn't need to know what I think about her._

Liz however, seemed unaware of Zan's slip. She reached across the table and helped herself to one of his spicy fries and chewed absentmindedly while she formulated her next question.

"What happened next?"

"Nothing happened next. I hung around, watching you, trying to keep you safe until Max came back."

"And that was when you told him there wasn't a baby," Liz said, filling in the blanks. "But why did he pretend there was after Tess came back?"

"Nobody knew where the baby came from," Zan explained. "And Max really didn't want to try and find out. It would have put you all under even more scrutiny. I mean for all he knew, Tess could have stolen a baby from Antar and brought him down to pass off as Max's child. With no way of tracing the baby's parents, he did the only thing he thought he could do. He kept up the pretense that the baby was his, and had his father arrange an adoption."

"He should have told me," Liz said, bitterly.

"Yeah, he should have," Zan agreed. "And had he not been killed, he probably would have. Don't forget, Liz everything happened so fast. And he didn't plan on dying."

"No, he didn't plan on dying," Liz agreed, softly. "But he did, and now I'm here, alone, trying to deal with the fallout."

Zan pulled back slightly, stung from her comment. She _wasn't_ alone. Or she didn't have to be.

"Yeah, whatever," Zan said, masking his hurt behind a show of bravado. "Look, I'm gonna cut out and find a place to shack up. I'll catch up with you sometime." He through enough cash on the table to cover the price of his meal and stood up, grabbed his jacked and was out of the restaurant before Liz could even say a word.

Liz finished her coffee and thought about all she had learned tonight. A part of her felt an incredible betrayal. Max had kept so much from her, and it hurt. It didn't matter that he was trying to protect her, or anyone else. She pushed her cup back and grabbed her belongings. If Zan wanted to leave, far be it from her to stop him. In fact, she was happier that he was gone. Or at least she tried to convince herself that he was.

She weaved her way through the crowded restaurant and pushed open the door to the outside. The rush of cold air reminded her that she wasn't in New Mexico any longer, and she snuggled pulled her coat tighter around her body. Out of nowhere, a hand grabbed her arm and pulled her off balance. She stumbled and her attacker used the opportunity to push her up against the front of a building.

"Hey Liz, long time no see," a familiar voice said.

Liz looked up and faced her attacker and her heart sank. This was unbelievable. She was doing everything in her power to escape everything that was alien related and again and again it was thrown back in her face.

"Let go of me, you freak," Liz said, struggling to break her attacker's hold. "What are you doing here anyhow? I thought when you left Roswell, you'd head back to New York and the sewer from which you crawled."

"Yeah well what can I say? It's a big world, and I wanted to see some of it."

"Leave me alone Rath," Liz said. "I'm just going to get on with my life, and believe me when I say, that life does not include you." 

"I'm hurt, what would old Maxie boy say?"

"Max is,"

"Max is right here, and he says get your hands off of her, or I'll kill you," said Zan, grimly.


	10. Chapter 10

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Ten_

"Hey, hey, Maxie boy. How ya doin?" Rath asked in a voice filled with false bravado. "Long time no see."

"Yeah, cause after you tried to kill me, time really flew," said Zan. "Now let Liz go before I…"

"Before you _what?_ scoffed Rath. "You ain't got the nads to do anything to me."

"Actually, he does," said Liz. "But you know what? So do I."

Liz focused her mind and sent a short burst of energy at Rath, forcing him to release her. Rath jumped back in shock, not from the energy burst, but from the fact that it came from Liz.

"What the fuck?" he shouted.

"Leave me alone, Rath," Liz said, twisting her arm free. She pushed past both Rath and Zan and started walking rapidly down the street. 

"Leave her alone, Rath," Zan said, glaring at Rath. His eyes reflected an anger that was in no way equal to the scene that had just transpired. "You leave her alone, or you'll answer to me. You got that?" 

Zan shoved Rath against the wall and started to walk in the direction Liz had taken. His very walk triggered a memory in Rath, and without thinking, he reacted.

"Yo! Zan!" he called out.

Zan hesitated slightly, and his shoulders stiffened. "Zan's dead," he called over his shoulder. "Just like you tried to kill me." He continued walking up the street, ignoring Rath's shouts. 

Frantically Zan's eyes scanned the crowds as he searched for Liz. His heart pounded with fear when he realized she was nowhere in sight. 

"Looking for me?" a voice asked.

Zan turned around so fast he almost gave himself whiplash. When he saw Liz standing behind him grinning, anger and resentment built up inside of him and he glared at Liz.

"Nice of you to wait!" he barked

"What's you're problem?" Liz asked, thoroughly confused.

"Well, let's see," said Zan, pretending to reflect. "I find you being man handled by my supposed best friend who tried to murder me, and Max, and then, the next thing I knew, you disappeared. Again! You didn't even have the decency to wait and see if I ran into any problems with him."

"Well," Liz said, trying to remain calm. "First off, I figured you could handle yourself with Rath with him. And second, I didn't just take off on you. As soon as I was out of site, I ducked out into the street and doubled back and came back up behind you. I believe it's called 'having you're back,' though why I'd want to do that is beyond me. Now, the way I see it, we have two choices. We can stand here, out in the open, arguing about it like a couple of sitting ducks, or we can get the hell out of her."

Zan stared down at Liz for a second. Without warning, he grabbed her arm and stalked off down the street.

"Ouch, stop it, you're hurting me," Liz cried.

"No I'm not," said Zan. "Now move."

"I assume you know where we're going?" Liz asked.

"Yeah, I'm finding us a place to sleep," said Zan. "Now will you come on?"

"What's he doing here, anyhow?" Liz asked, not really expecting an answer. "I thought for sure he and Lonnie would have gone back to New York."

Max ignored her question and headed down the stairs to a nearby subway station, dragging Liz along with him.

"We'll talk later," Zan said. "Just follow me, and keep up."

At the turnstile, he used his powers to activate the unlocking mechanism and pushed Liz through. When she was through, he followed and used his powers to jam the turnstile. It wasn't much, but he hoped it would cause some congestion and help them shake Rath.

The roar of an arriving train captured his attention, and he grabbed Liz's hand and they ran down the stairs leading to the subway platform. Luck was with them, and they made it onto a train that was just preparing to depart the station.

Panting slightly from the exertion, Liz sank into an available seat, only to be yanked from it unceremoniously by Zan.

"We're not staying," he said. "Come on."

He pulled Liz across the train and used his powers to open the door and push Liz out of the moving train and onto the platform. He looked around behind him briefly before he jumped out onto the platform next to Liz. Steadying himself, he quickly turned and looked back at the train to see Rath's angry face staring at them through the grime streaked window of the train.

"How'd you know he was following us?" Liz asked, shocked by what had just occurred.

"I didn't know, but it was a pretty safe guess," said Zan.

"Yeah, well, you sure guessed right," Liz said. "But now what?"

"I, I uh, really hadn't thought too much about our next move," Zan admitted. "Mostly I was just concerned with making sure we lost Rath. I guess we'd better get the hell out of here."

"Oh, and look, conveniently enough, this train is going in the opposite direction of Rath," said Liz, pointing at an incoming train. 

"Shall we take a train ride?" Zan asked in a pseudo-snobby voice." 

"Yes, lets," said Liz in the same phony voice.

Zan grabbed Liz's hand and together they made a mad dash for the train, climbing aboard just before the doors slid shut.

They found empty seats and fell into them, their euphoria waning as their adrenalin levels dropped. They road in silence for several stops, neither one looking at the other, nor wanting to be the first to break the silence.

After a while, Liz began to fume silently, blaming Zan for all her troubles. She had tried repeatedly to separate herself from all things alien related. Yet here he was, dragging her kicking and screaming back into the fray.

Zan, on the other hand, sat next to Liz, resentment building in him like steam in a pressure cooker. He was furious with Liz and her holier than thou attitude. Granted, she didn't ask to be a part of any of this, but when push came to shove, her only other alternative was death. Max had saved her from certain death. There was no two ways about it. Max may have involved her in all of this, but from where he stood, it beat the hell out of being dead.

The longer he thought about it, the angrier he became, and when the train stopped, he stood up, grabbed their bags, and got off the train without even looking to see if Liz was following him. He glanced at the large map on the wall, then turned and examined the various advertisements that dotted the walls of the subway station. When he found what he was looking for, he started up the stairs of the subway, still ignoring Liz.

Liz's anger grew at what she considered Zan's cavalier treatment of her. Without so much as a 'by your leave,' he was totally taking charge, and she wasn't going to stand for it.

Leaving the warmth of the subway, they climbed the stairs and emerged in the cold northern night. Zan looked around briefly, tightened his grip on their bags and began to walk purposefully down the street. Still angry, Liz followed him, her fury growing with every step she took. 

Zan stopped abruptly in front of a large building. He checked the street number on the door then pushed through door and into the lobby of a very luxurious hotel. Liz gaped at the opulence around them and followed Zan as he made his way to the front desk.

"Yes, may I help you?" the clerk asked, with a smile."

"Yes, we'd like a room, please," said Zan. "With a king sized bed," he added as an afterthought.


	11. Chapter 11

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Eleven_

"You want, wha – OUCH!" Liz cried, her outburst interrupted by the fact that Zan had just stepped on her foot – hard.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Zan said. His voice was soft and sweet but his eyes clearly reflected the message 'shut up and play along.' Liz nodded almost imperceptibly to indicate that she would go along with whatever he was saying, but her eyes reflected a message of their own; try anything and I'll use my powers to make you a eunuch. 

"Yes, a room with a king sized bed," said Zan. "I called with a reservation a week ago. The name is Evans."

The desk clerk typed punched some keys on the computer. A worried expression crossed his face and he began typing rapidly again.

"Mr. Evans, I'm sorry, I have no record of your reservation," he said. "Do you have your confirmation number?"

"Of course," Zan said, smiling. He knew that by acting friendly and unconcerned, he'd have much more success. "It's right here." He reached into his pocket, and removed a slip of paper. Before he passed it to the clerk, he passed his hand over the paper so that it resembled the other confirmation slips on the front desk.

The clerk took it, glanced at it and typed some numbers into the computer.

"Mr. Evans, I don't know what happened. I can't find any record of your reservation _anywhere._ Let me get my manager."

He disappeared from view and returned several seconds later with another person in tow.

"Good evening, Mr. Evans. I'm Mrs. Walker. Boyd tells me that your reservation seems to be lost. Of course, we're more than willing to honor the reservation, but we do have one difficulty. We don't have any rooms with a king sized bed available. But what I'd like to do, to compensate you for your troubles is upgrade you to a suite, at no additional charge. Would that be adequate?"

"Mrs. Walker, that would be wonderful," said Zan. "And I appreciate you're doing that for us. Isn't that nice, Liz?"

"Yes, it is, thank you very much," Liz said, trying to not show her relief.

"I'll have someone bring your bags to your room," said the manager. 

"Oh, there's no need," said Liz, deciding to get in on the act. "The airline lost our luggage. I'm sure it's in Botswana by now. All we have are our carry-on bags."

"Oh, dear," said the compassionate manager. "Well then, at least allow me to provide you with some toiletries and robes from our gift shop, courtesy of the hotel of course. Here are your room keys and enjoy your stay at the Boston Park Plaza Hotel."

Zan smiled and held out his hand and took the room keys.

"You're in 735, Mr. Evans," the clerk said helpfully.

"Thank you," Zan said, nodding his head slightly. "All set, Liz?" 

Liz simply smiled, amazed at what Zan had just achieved. They'd gone from having no place to sleep to a suite in a luxury hotel in the blink of an eye. She shook her head, a bemused expression playing upon her face as they rode the elevator to the seventh floor. Zan was a continual surprise, and she didn't know how to deal with him. 

The doors slid open and Zan and Liz stepped out into the opulent lobby of the luxury hotel. Liz tried to stifle a yawn as she followed Zan down what seemed like miles of corridor. The past few days were catching up with her, and she wanted nothing more than to sleep for a week. 

Zan slid the key card into the lock, pushed the door open and stepped aside so that Liz could go in first. She barely glanced at her surroundings and instead, kicked off her shoes and collapsed on the couch.

"Wake me next year," she said.

"I'll take that to mean I get first choice of rooms?" asked Zan. 

"Whatever," Liz mumbled, her eyelids fluttering as she struggled to stay awake long enough to answer Zan. But the stress of the past few days was too much, and her body succumbed to its desire to sleep.

Zan watched her for a few minutes, allowing himself the luxury of drinking in her beauty unobserved. She wasn't classically beautiful; it was more of a wholesome girl next-door look. Not that it mattered; he'd had little if any beauty in his life, at least until he met Liz. She was the most beautiful thing in his life.

Zan dropped the bags on the floor and walked to the nearest door and opened it, revealing a room with a queen-sized bed. He pulled down the covers and walked back to the living room. He gathered Liz up in his arms and carried her back to the bedroom, reveling in the nearness of her body. He laid her gently on the bed, and pulled the covers up over her body, and smoothed her hair away from her face. 

He sat on the edge of the bed, giving himself permission to watch her sleep a bit longer. Liz smiled in her sleep, she shifted slightly, and her hand brushed against his. His breath caught as she reached out in her sleep and squeezed it tightly.

He used his free had to adjust the pillows behind his back, and he swung his legs up on the bed. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the pillows. He wasn't as tired as Liz had obviously been, but he _was_ tired.

His eyes closed slowly. His breathing evened out and he drifted off to sleep, taking comfort in knowing that Liz was next to him.

_The moon cast a ghostly glow on the dirt road. Liz walked slowly down the road, not afraid, but cautious. She didn't know what was up ahead, but she couldn't go back. Something was pulling her forward. ___

_A shadowy figure stepped out into the road and beckoned to her. She moved towards it. As she drew closer, she was able to make out his features. ___

_"Max," she whispered. "Is it you?" ___

_"Liz," Max said, smiling down at her. ___

_"Oh, Max, I've missed you," Liz said. "I hate it without you here. I wish we could be together." ___

_"We are together, Liz. You know it, even if you won't accept it. I'm always with you," the Max of her dreams said. ___

_"No, when you died, I died," Liz said. ___

_"That isn't true," another voice said. ___

_Liz turned in the direction of the voice and watched as another figure emerged from the darkness. ___

_"Zan?" she asked ___

_"I'm Zan, but I'm Max," he said. ___

_"And I'm Max, but I'm Zan," Max said. "We're the same but different." ___

_"Different but the same," said Zan. ___

_Liz watched in confusion as the two figures merged into one and faded into the darkness._

Liz's eyes flew open and she sat up in the bed her heart pounding. The remnants f the dream clung to her and she struggled to recall them all. There was a message there, if only she could figure it out.

As she became more awake, she became aware of the figure lying next to her. She pulled back a little, uncertain of what to do. Lying next to Zan felt natural, but on another level, it felt so wrong, almost as if she were cheating on Max.

Her eyes began to close again as the need to sleep grew stronger. She struggled against it, trying to make sense of everything that was happening to her.

_I'll think about it later,_ she thought, as she fell back to sleep.


	12. Chapter 12

_Two Sides of the Coin_

**Rating:** Teen/Mature

_Part Twelve_

Liz woke from sleep slowly, almost as if she were testing the day to see if she wanted to join it. When life had been normal, she used to love to wake up this way. It gave her a chance to thing about the previous day, and make plans for the day ahead.

She tried to turn over, but found something was holding her down. Slowly, she opened her eyes, afraid to see what was pinning her to the bed. Her eyes focused, and she realized Zan was lying on the bed next to her, one arm thrown across her body. Alarmed, she peeked under the covers relieved to see she still wore a shirt, though her jeans were gone. Zan must have taken them off of her when he put her in the bed. At least she assumed he had carried her to the bed. The last thing she remembered was lying down on the couch.

She tried to muster up the ambition to be furious with him, or at the very least, annoyed, but it didn't work. Since she was under the covers, and he was on top of them, he obviously hadn't tried anything, and besides, she was starting to get used to having him around.

Liz closed her eyes, shocked by the thought. After Max had died, she swore she'd get out of the alien hellhole that was her life. She forced herself to walk away from Michael and Isabel, though it really wasn't as hard as one would have thought, she wasn't particularly close to either of them. No, Max was the glue that had held that group together. But now there was Zan, and while he wasn't kindling any desires in her to hook back up with the others, she was starting to enjoy his company in a perverse sort of way.

Liz snuggled back under the covers, enjoying the warmth of his body while she thought more about this startling revelation. She was starting to like being around Zan. He made her feel – well she wasn't quite sure yet what she was feeling, but it wasn't anything she ever felt with Max. Max was new love, first love, the kind of love you think will last forever. Maybe it would have, if he hadn't been killed. Being with Zan was exciting, annoying, but exciting. But she was afraid that on some level, she was confusing the two; that the lines between the two of them were starting to blur somehow.

When she thought about Max, she thought about Max. There was no Zan, but when she thought about Zan, the lines between him and Max started to blur.

_Blur_ Liz thought to herself. _That means something_

A whisper of a thought flitted across her mind, and Liz struggled to capture it, but the more she struggled, the more it eluded her. 

_Grrr,_ she thought. _It was something about blurring. Why can't I think about it? Why can't I remember?_

Liz sighed with frustration, annoyed at her inability to think clearly. It was important, she knew it, but she couldn't remember what _it_ was. Liz's eyes grew heavy as she concentrated, and she drifted off to sleep, still unaware of the connection Max and Zan now shared. 

Zan heaved a sigh of relief after Liz dropped off to sleep. He hadn't meant to fall asleep next to her. The last thing he wanted to do was upset her any more. She was, whether she realized it or not, very fragile right now, and he didn't want to be the one to upset her tenuous hold on her calmness. Slowly, inch-by-inch, he started to ease away from her. Liz mumbled something incoherent in her sleep, and moved closer to Zan.

Zan groaned at the close proximity of Liz's body. She was snuggled up against him spoon fashion and he felt his body's reaction to the feel of her behind pressed against his groin. His erection strained against his jeans, and he wiggled a little trying to relieve the pressure, but it only served to make him more aroused.

He knew he should get off the bed, but she felt so good in his arms. She was so soft and delicate. He felt like he never wanted to let her go. Mustering the last reserves of willpower, Zan started to push away, when Liz turned over in her sleep. He stared down, studying her features, and he knew he was lost. He wanted her in a way he hand never wanted a woman before. It wasn't just sexual. He wanted her heart and her soul, along with her body. He wanted to consume her, and to have her consume him.

Liz smiled in her sleep, and her hand brushed against Zan's chest. His breath caught as her hand came in contact with the exposed skin. 

"Zan," she murmured, and he was lost.

His hand reached out of it's own volition and began to caress her body, gently. He reached out and cupped her breast with his hand, and Zan who was no stranger to a woman's body, felt as if it were the first time he had ever done so. His hand caressed her breast, teasing the nipple to a soft peak. He ached to put it in his mouth and taste it's tangy sweetness.

Liz's eyes flickered open, and he caught his breath, afraid of the shock and revulsion he'd see in her eyes. Instead, she smiled and slid her hand under his shirt and began to caress his chest.

"That feels nice," she said, her voice a throaty whisper. "But I think I know something that would make it feel even nicer."

"What's that?" Zan asked, his excitement building.

Instead of responding, Liz sat up and pulled her shirt off in one fluid move, then reached out and began to unbutton the shirt that Zan wore. He helped her to pull it off his body, and then reached out and took her hand in his.

"Are you sure?" he asked, softly. "If we do this, there's no turning back."

"I'm sure," she responded.

"I'm not him, Liz. I'm not Max."

"You're Zan, not Max, but you are two sides of the same coin. You told me that yourself."

"What?" Zan asked, confused.

"In a dream, you dream walked me, remember?" Liz said, confusion overriding her passion.

"You did that to me," said Zan. "I don't dream walk. That was Lonnie's gig, not mine."

"Does it really matter?" Liz asked, reaching out to stroke his face, gently. "We're here, together. Max is dead. You're the same, but different, and I want you."

She knelt up on the bed, and straddled his body, and Zan groaned. He knew he should stop her, but he couldn't. He wanted her more than he ever wanted anybody. He wanted to feel his body in hers, and make her experience things she had never felt before.

"Who am I?" he asked, his voice clouded by desire.

"You're Zan, and nobody else," Liz whispered.

Zan reached up and looped his arms around the back of her neck and pulled her face down to his. Their lips came together, and it was like no feeling Liz had ever experienced before. And yet, it was. The passion she had felt with Max was there, but it was multiplied a thousand fold with Zan. She snaked her fingers through his thick black hair and kissed him again, allowing her tongue to wander into his mouth. She felt his hands slide down her body and slide her panties off, and she moaned with excitement at the thought of his hands touching her. 

Her hands reached down and unfastened his jeans and she knelt up and allowed Zan to raise his hips of off of the bed and wiggle out of the garment. He wore nothing beneath them, and Liz struggled to restrain a gasp of amazement when she realized that.

Zan grabbed her and pulled her to the bed beside him.

"Are you sure?" he asked again.

"I'm sure you'd better stop talking, and kiss me again," Liz said. 

"Baby, I'm gonna do more than kiss you," said Zan. "I'm going to love you like you've never been loved before. I'm going to make you beg for more. I want to hear you scream for me."

"What are you waiting for?" Liz asked suggestively. Deciding to take matters into her own hands, she began to press kisses along his jaw. Slowly she moved down his body, tasting each part of him as she moved lower and lower.

Zan groaned, and his hands grabbed ineffectually at her hair as she took him into the warm recesses of her mouth. He did everything in his power to hold back wanting his release to come, not this way, but with his cock buried deep within her. He exerted a light pressure, pulling her away from him.

"My turn he said to her," and she smiled at him with passion filled eyes.

He took her small breast into his mouth and sucked gently, teasing the nipple to a peak. He ran his tongue around it and nibbled slightly, causing Liz to moan. His hand slipped down between her legs, and his fingers began to slowly caress her steaming folds. He moved his fingers faster, varying the degree of pressure he exerted, and Liz's hips began to move in time to his movements.

"Oh, God," she whispered.

"I told you, I was going to make you scream," he teased. "That wasn't much of a scream. He slid down the length of the bed, pressing warm kisses on her belly until his mouth came to her apex. He brought his mouth between her thighs, and Liz had to bite her lips to keep from screaming. His tongue swirled around bringing her higher and higher.

"Zan," she gasped. "I need to feel you inside of me. I have to. I think I'm going to die if you don't."

At the brink of his own climax, her words excited him even more. He pulled away and looked down at her.

"Last time, Liz. Are you sure?" he asked.

"God damn it, stop being so noble," she demanded. "Or I'll.." 

"You'll what?" Zan asked teasingly, using the time to try and muster some control. He was so aroused, he knew if he took her now, it would be over before it began.

Instead of speaking, Liz reached out and pulled his body against hers. She spread her legs, raised her hips and reached down to guide him into her body. She stiffened slightly and tried to stifle a gasp when his initial thrust tore through the thin layer of tissue that made her a virgin.

Shocked, Zan pulled back and stared down at her. "Liz?" he asked, confused.

She nodded and looked up at him, her eyes burning with a combination of desire and trust. Zan vowed then to never do anything to cause her to lose that trust she had placed in him.

He began to move, slowly at first, and then faster as she began to rise up and meet him thrust for thrust. He felt her wrap her legs around him and angle her hips to meet his with the fullest contact as he slid deeper and deeper into her.

He felt her tighten around him as she climaxed, and it drove him over the edge. He relinquished all control, and he too began to climax. He closed his eyes, and he saw Liz, floating in front of him, arms opened to accept him. Next to him was Max, watching and smiling.

_We are one, you and I. I am you, and you are me. Protect her Zan, and love her, and she will love you. It is as it should be. We are two sides of the coin, but the sides are the same. We are the same person Zan._

_Max is right,_ the Liz in front of him said. _I understand everything now. The lines didn't blur, they merged. The two became one. I belong to you, and you belong to me. We are joined now, forever._

The image faded, and Zan continued to thrust, filling Liz with every fiber of his being. It seemed to last forever, but it wasn't long enough. He never wanted it to end.

When they pulled apart, he looked at Liz, shocked to see tears streaking down her face.

"Di-did I hurt you?" he asked with concern.

"No, you made me whole. I understand now, Zan. We were meant to be together," she said. "Did you see it? Did you see him?"

"He's gone Liz, I'm here," he said.

"No, he'll always be here," Liz said. "In both our hearts. He's a part of us, but he's _not_ between us, Zan. I understand now. Max was trying to tell us that it's okay. He's gone, but he'll always be a part of us."

"Yeah, I get it," said Zan. In a way he was relieved. He hated to think of Max as just not existing, but he wasn't sure how he felt about this merging thing Liz was talking about. He needed some more time to think about it. And right now, the only thing he wanted to think about was the armful of naked girl beside him.

"I don't think I heard you scream loud enough," he said, kissing her deeply.

Liz was about to respond when the door blew off the hinges.

"Really, cause I'm thinking I heard her scream plenty loud enough, _ZAN,_ Rath said, leaning casually against the door frame.


	13. Chapter 13

_Two Sides of the Coin_

_Part Thirteen_

"Are you insane?" Zan asked, trying to project as much of a Max like attitude as he possibly could. "People are going to hear you."

"The way I see, that's the least of your worries, _Zan the Man_," Rath said. He stepped fully into the room and closed the door behind him, using his powers to lock it shut.

"Why are you bothering us?" Zan asked. "I thought you would have figured out from my last trip to New York, that I don't want anything to do with you."

"And _I_ would have thought you just would have stayed dead when I killed you," said Rath.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Zan bluffed. "You didn't kill me, you only tried by making that scaffolding fall on me. But it obviously didn't work, Rath, because here I am."

"No, that was that Mayberry geek Max. You're not him, you're Zan. I can feel it," Rath said, his voice and his face full of certainty.

"You're wrong," said Liz. "This is Max. Do you honestly think I'd sleep with someone like you?" She reached under the covers to surreptitiously squeeze Zan's hand, letting him know her words meant nothing. "Please, I almost vomited when you kissed me. Do you _honestly_ think I'd do something as sacred as making love with anybody but Max?"

"Yeah, well," said Rath, clearly confused. Liz sounded like she was telling the truth, and the flashes he got off of her when they kissed told him she was all about Max.

"We're on our honeymoon here," Liz continued. As she spoke, she slipped off a bracelet she had been wearing and passed it to Zan under the covers.

Zan grabbed the bracelet, caressing her leg at the same time and sending an excited thrill coursing through her body. While Liz continued to deflect Rath's attention, Zan used his powers to make two rings. He slipped one onto his ring finger and passed the other to Liz. Both of them slipped the rings on their fingers, and Zan carefully eased his hand back up on top of the covers so that the ring was visible.

"Look Rath, I don't know what you want us to say to convince you," said Zan. "What Liz said is true. We're here on our honeymoon, and to check out some colleges. Liz has always dreamed of going to Harvard. I'm going to do everything in my power to make that happen."

"God, you two are sickening," Rath growled. He caught site of the ring on Zan's hand and grimaced in disgust. "I should just kill you here. I can't believe you hooked up with a human."

"But then you won't get the one thing you're looking for," said Zan. "You want the Granolith."

"Yeah, that's right," said Rath. "I want the Granolith so I can get off this freaking hell hole planet."

"Too bad," said Zan. "You're too late. The Granolith is gone, Rath. It's back on Antar and it isn't coming back."

"What?" Rath said slowly, his face contorting with rage. "What do you mean, it's back on Antar?"

"I should speak slower and use smaller words?" Zan asked. "What aren't you understanding about that statement? Tess took it back to Antar, along with my son."

"Your what?" Rath asked his mouth gaping like a giant fish.

"Can you keep up, please?" Zan asked his patience wearing away. "This isn't rocket science."

Liz nudged Zan under the covers, trying to calm him down. While she was admiring his bravado, he was acting more like Zan, then Max.

"Look, we don't have what you're looking for anymore," said Liz. "Why don't you just leave us alone so we can get on with our lives?

"Watch it, Princess," Rath said, approaching the bed, menacingly.

Reacting, Zan jumped up from the bed, and despite the danger they were in, Liz took a moment to enjoy the site of his naked body.

"Back off, Rath," Zan said, his arm stretching out in an offensive position.

Liz wrapped the sheet tightly around her body and slipped out of the bed to stand beside Zan. She looked up at him, and the light shining in her eyes was enough to make him hesitate. Never before had he had someone look at him with such complete and utter trust. He wasn't going to do anything to lose that trust, or to put her in danger.

"You need to leave here, Rath. And if Lonnie's around, tell her the same thing. You have no business bothering us. We don't have anything that you want, so just leave us alone."

"Why don't you just leave us alone?" Rath mocked in a singsong voice. "Jesus, you sound like a freaking baby. No way you _can_ be Zan, whining like that. Not that it matters," he continued, conversationally. "Kivar put a price on the head of all the royals, so I'm gonna have to kill you."

"Not to point out the obvious," Zan said, stalling for time. Rath's revelation had thrown him for a loop, and he needed a second to regroup. "But you and Lonnie and Ava are all considered royals. That means there's a price on your head, too."

"Nah, his whadda ya call it, emissary said we was safe," Rath said.

"Right," Zan said, sarcastically. "And you trust the man who killed you once because?"

Rath stopped to think about Zan's logic for a moment, and in that second, Zan acted. He leaped across the bed and tackled Rath to the floor and began to pummel him with punches. All the rage he felt at Rath's duplicitous betrayal came out in his attack, and he brutally beat Rath into unconsciousness. So great was his rage that he never even once considered using his powers. He wanted his revenge to come from his own two hands. It was only Liz's intervention that prevented him from killing Rath.

"Stop it, stop it now!" Liz yelled, pulling ineffectually at Zan's shoulder. "This isn't the place. Stop it before the room is filled with hotel security, _MAX_." She put extra emphasis on the name just in case it penetrated Rath's unconsciousness.

Zan pulled back and sat on the floor panting. He looked over at Rath's ravaged face and felt a surge of satisfaction pass through his body. He felt good inside. Not because he beat Rath down, but because it gave him an outlet for all the rage he had been repressing for years. Rage he didn't realize existed in him. Rage that Max, had warned him about.

_Zan, you have to let it go. The hate and anger will kill you more effectively than anything Rath and Lonnie could have done to you._ he remembered Max saying in one of their first conversations. _Yeah, what they did was horrible. You thought they were your family, but they tried to kill you. But Zan, you can have a _new_ family here with us. Let me tell the others about you._

Zan had balked at the idea. He'd been betrayed once, and he didn't think he could stand it if it happened again. He trusted Max because he trusted himself, but the others, they were an unknown entity, and he didn't want any part of them. Except for Liz. He had known even then that Liz was someone he could trust; someone he could love. But she was with Max, and he would never betray Max like that. Max was more than family, Max was him, and he was Max.

"Liz," Zan said, his voice catching a little. "This isn't quite what I had planned for this morning. Last night was,"

"Last night was what it was," Liz said. "It was wonderful, and I don't regret it, but we have other things to deal with right now."

The hurt look in his eyes, caused Liz to kneel down beside him and take his hand in hers.

"I mean it," she said. "It was wonderful." She paused to kiss him deeply. "But right now, we have something more pressing to deal with. We need to get dressed and get out of here."

Liz stood up, still shrouded in the sheet from the bed and began to rummage around for her clothes, while Zan used strips ripped from another sheet to bind and gag Rath. They worked together in companionable silence, gathering their belongings and preparing to leave the room.

"What should we do with him?" Liz asked, looking at the now conscious Rath, lying on the floor.

"Is killing him an option?" Zan asked hopefully.

"No," Liz sighed. "Not unless we really have no other choice. Besides, we need to ask him a few more questions."

She reached over and removed the gag from his mouth. A violent outburst of profanity caused her to step back. Never had she seen so much hate come out of one person.

"You done now?" Zan asked when Rath paused for a breath.

"I ain't even started yet, _brother_." Rath spat.

"Yeah whatever. We don't have time for your stupid games Rath. Tell me the truth. Does Kivar really have a price on our heads?"

"Yeah, whadya think? I just made it up for fun?"

"Yeah, actually, that's exactly what we think," said Liz. "Kivar doesn't care about us anymore. He has the Granolith. That's all he wanted, Rath."

Her words caused him to slump down even further.

"Fine, there's no bounty," said Rath. "We was just tryin to scare youse."

"Why, Rath?" Liz asked. "Max and I never did anything to you. We don't have the Granolith, and you can't go home. You don't _want_ to go home. Your protector Nescado made a deal with Kivar. Tess was supposed to bring Max and the others back. If she succeeded, she'd win her freedom, and they'd all be dead. Is that what you want to go back for? To die?"

"Our protector betrayed us?" Rath asked. "But he was supposed to watch over us, and bring us home."

"Yeah, well instead, she got pregnant and almost tricked us into going back to Antar with her," Zan said. "She told us the baby couldn't live on Earth."

"And you bought that?" Rath scoffed. "Man, you are some kind of stupid. Zan never would have bought into that shit. So youse guys is tellin' me that Ava is just an evil bitch? I never liked that chick anyhow."

"No, not Ava," said Liz. "Tess. Ava was different, and if you ever see her again, just leave her alone."

"How'd you end up hookin up with Tess anyhow?" Rath asked. He'd seen for himself the bond that Liz and Max had, and even he couldn't understand how the two could ever split up.

"Tess killed one of our friends," Liz said, her eyes reflecting the pain she felt. "None of us handled it very well. We kind of drifted apart for a while."

"Yeah, which one?" Rath asked, almost conversationally. Death to him was not a big deal. He saw it every day on the streets. "The short jocky one, or that little blond chick?"

"Neither," said Zan, smiling a little at the descriptions of Kyle and Maria. "It was our friend, Alex. She mind warped him until there was nothing left of his mind, and he died."

"Couldn't you heal him?" Rath asked.

"I was too late," Zan said.

Something in his voice caused Liz to look at Zan and she could have sworn she saw Max behind his eyes.

"That sucks," said Rath. "But speaking of healing, I don't suppose you'd heal me, since you're not plannin' on killin me that is."

Zan looked at Liz, and she nodded. Zan moved over next to Rath and began to heal his various wounds. He tried hard to keep the connection between himself and Rath light so that there wouldn't be any flashes, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded. When he was done, he used his powers and released the bonds that held Rath's hands and feet. Zan held out his hand Rath and helped him up.

"You ain't got nuthin to worry about," said Rath. "Me and Lonnie will leave youse guys alone."

Zan and Liz walked to the door and waited for Rath to leave the room.

"You sure I can't interest you in another game of tonsil hockey?" Rath asked, leering at Liz.

"Yeah, I'm good," Liz said, slipping her hand into Zan's. "Thanks for the offer, though."

"Yeah, I didn't think so," Rath laughed. "Like I said, me and Lonnie won't be botherin you no more. We're gonna head back to New York. You can't get any good pizza here anyhow. Take it easy, _Zan_"

He held out his hand to Zan who reached out hesitantly and took it.

"You are da man," said Rath.


	14. Chapter 14

_Two Sides of the Coin_

_Epilogue_

"He knows," Liz said, shocked. "How. I thought for sure we had him convinced. "We're never going to be safe as long as he knows." 

"We're safe," Zan said, taking her in his arms. "He saw me, but he saw Max, too. I guess you're right. When Max died, he became part of me. Rath saw that, and he's good with it."

"I don't think Max became a part of you, or you became a part of Max," said Liz. "You're the same person. Two sides of the same coin. Circumstances made you different."

"Not circumstances, Liz. It was love. Max always had it, but I never did. Not until now."

"But now you have it forever," Liz said.

It didn't take them long to make their plans. They packed up and decided to meet back up with the others. Liz knew that she couldn't run from her problems, but with Zan at her side, she knew she'd be able to meet them all head on.

Explaining Zan to the others was going to be difficult, but she knew that they'd open their hearts to him, just as she had. Zan knew it too. It was something Max had told him time and time again, but now he knew, love could open any door.

Together they walked out of the hotel and into a day filled with sunshine and endless possibilities.

The End


End file.
